This Is What You've Been Looking For

Whenever someone lies in any subject matter not directly related to one's own survival, what will happen to a very honest, upright, wise man with a strong sense of dignity? It is extremely traumatic for one's soul. This is the most grievous insult for his uprightness and hence to his own existence. Any significant lie, if you are really really honest with yourself is equivalent to death of your morality. And what else is more valuable to the honest man than his moral value? It is indeed more precious than his life. Throughout the history of humankind we have seen thousands of people had committed suicide when they were found either by themselves or by others that they have lied in some significant way. Indeed lying and subsequent guilty feelings by honest men is the most common cause of suicide along with some psychiatric conditions, drug abuse, and psychological trauma. In most of those cases it either involved some wrongdoing or lying, with some rare exception where somebody took their own life for their loved one. If you have any insight into this subject matter, you would agree that wrongdoing, perceived wrong imposed on somebody or lying is the critical factor leading to a soul to commit suicide.

With this background, we can easily see that not only in our day to day common preference to the truth, our existence and our soul has a preference to stick with that truth. Why is this designed in such a way? After all, lying and devious short cut strategies are good to earn quick fame, wealth, money or comfort. Additionally if preference to truth and lie are truly random then it would be 50/50 in distribution. Why majority people agree on truth and why honest people who lied or did something wrong commit suicide? All these only suggest that there are some real deep utility and rationale to pursue truth and hence our innate conscious and unconscious preference to truth, not just for the sake of moral, ethical, religious or spiritual conviction.

These days people lie on important subject matter all the time but why they don't do what an honest person would do ie. suicide. This is because lying is so common today that everybody has to commit suicide if they are truly honest with themselves. If they did that, the human species would become extinct by now. To prevent such a grand calamity, the instinct of survival has been called for to protect humankind and propagate its continuity. How does the instinct of survival work to overcome the injury of lie on the soul? The instinct to survive is creating a barrier or rigid veil to cover up the injured site [ie. the lie] and thus the psychi cannot see it. The psychi cannot see it not because it’s no longer there, but because the lie has become a blind spot for the eye of the psychi, so the psychi cannot perceive it. Over long term, with repeated lies, it will be filled by these blind spots resulting in a complete dark black soul that will prevent your psychi to see the reality as it is and your access to your own soul for your examination. It's just like the visual blind spot. It's still there, as always, but we cannot see it. This is how the survival instinct is protecting us by making us blind on the fact that we have done something wrong or otherwise lied somehow. Otherwise, we would have committed suicide long ago, if we are absolutely honest with ourselves.

Now over our life time, many times we have chosen, out of our free will, devious shortcuts to cheat others, get easy money, fame, power, jobs, class grades, vanity, to control or gain favor of other people which invariably involved some sorts of hiding the truth or outright lying. In order to protect ourselves, our survival instinct has been called for innumerable times and each time it created some blind spots as described above. This why over time you will lose your ability to see things as they are [Cognitive Dissidence]. You will look at those thing with a heavily blinded psychic eye and will not see it. The world will be perceived in a distorted way, you will not find the ultimate truth of life, its purpose, its sublime beauty. You will anxious and uncomfortable all the time. You will feel something is missing. These subtle uneasiness will be so deep and hidden in your unconscious that eventually it will be repressed in the dark recess and will be lost forever. It will be manifested in alternative forms such as impulsive behavior, emotional outburst, unreasonable anxiety, and fear of death or impending doom. To compensate you will try some adventure sports, unusual sexual practices, drugs and rock & rolls but nothing will quench your thirst and your life will be living hell but you will not voluntarily acknowledges it out of dignity and pride but you know it in the back of the your mind and others will perceive it from your impulsive behavior. There is no escape from this eternal punishment on the soul for not seeing the ultimate truth and meaning of life.

This is exactly why all the Masters and Sages of all age emphasized purification of soul and altruism before you can embark for any form of initiation and discipleship towards the Truth. Once the student purify himself, and only when the student is ready, teacher will appear either from inside or outside, but it will appear for sure, for which I can bet my bottom dollar. The teacher will help you find the right questions to ask because your psychic eyes are no longer blinded anymore as discussed earlier. You will seek, and you will find. You will ask, and will be given. You will knock on the right door, and it will be opened for you. You will then find the truth all by yourself and that truth will set you free, forever.

Originally, mystical experiences were very general and abstract but it had no names. The reality of mysticism was in almost everybody, hence it needed no names. Gradually with the rise of society, people gave it a name such as astrology, spirituality etc. and started to create gods and idols from these derivative and placeholder abstract concepts. The high priest or the kings of those cultures started to assume the role of gods for the rest of the people. With advancement of civilization, people started to add rigor to these subjective and authoritarian spirituality and renamed it a organized religion. Unfortunately, those religions themselves became even more authoritarian and dogmatic than ever before. With the advent of modernity people tried to add further rigor to this religion (rigor being empiricism) with some unrealistic and futile rigor called "Science". Originally it had no name, it only had the reality. Now it has only names such as Hinduism, Buddhism, Christianity, Judaism, Islam, New Age, but they hardly have any residual reality anymore. It's the human nature to corrupt and degenerate whatever good was handed down to them. Over time, everything is reduced to some fancy names with no intrinsic value [nominalism], and the underlying reality is lost, with few exceptions. 

Originally Sufism did not have a name but they had the true reality. This is not entirely true because it had a name, the name being Islam. All the close companions of the prophet, all the builders of magnificent mosque, were themselves Sufi without any separate names. Now, Islam along with Sufism have names but its loosing it's reality, with few exceptions. 

Every early original scientists had the true essence of reality with them but they did not have any separate names. They were just regarded as "wise men" or Sages. With the advent of a name called "scientist" in 19th century [To be exact 1833 AD, not BC!], the scientists have lost their reality and now they have just its names and dogmas, with few exceptions. 

During early parts of your life, you felt the true essence in your guts but at that time it had no names. You felt the divine essence without any name or any proof. But soon you trained yourself in wrong hands, believed in those untrue premises as unquestionable and started to give those divine sparkle a name like "enlightenment". Soon thereafter, you are chasing this unreal ghost named "enlightenment". There are no enlightenment to achieve and conquer in first place. Whatever is there, it’s always there, and there is no additional need to hunt for it. Now the essence of enlightenment is gone and only the word enlightenment remains. This is how your life's reality is lost and only its name remains, again with few exceptions.

Let's consider a Grail of water analogy. "I AM" the organizer of this thought experiment. I poured water to the Grail upto the half of it and kept the rest of the jug of water under the shelf. Then I will invite people to my house to enjoy the nice cold Grail of water in a hot summer day. Before I offer this grail of water to my guests, the only expectation I have that the guest will be polite and understanding of my sincere efforts. Before I offer them the half full Grail of water, I will ask the following question to the guests:

"How much of the Grail is filled with water?"

There are mainly two versions of the answers: 1) The glass is half full. 2) The glass is half empty. Now, let's analyze the answer. Which of the answer is correct one? Actually, both of them are equally correct but one will take you towards emptiness and others will take you towards fullness. One will take you towards completeness, the other will take you towards incompleteness. What is your intrinsic goal? Does your heart crave for completeness? If yes then you ought to say that the Grail is half full. In contrast, those people who say the Grail is half empty are actually complaining for not being full. Because if not completely full, for them, it is not full at all. He is accusing it for not being full. Although, superficially it seems to be a silly situation of no intrinsic value, this distinction of half fullness or half emptiness, has a profound significance in the deeper level. Once you have the inclination to complain about incompleteness, you are just entangling yourself and making your goal of filling the Grail to the brim difficult, if not impossible. Your goal is to fill the Grail with water in the first place, remember? 

Once you allow yourself in accuser position in an ambivalent or equally true situations, you immediately become blindfolded. I agree, both are true, but you are preventing yourself from seeing the hidden truths and you are actually actively moving away from the truth on your own volition. Once you are in accuser mode, you will only see the half empty Grail, nothing else. Because you are complaining about the half empty Grail, out of this disappointment you will reject to take that half empty Grail of water (because you went there for a full Grail of water), start putting some words or thoughts as an expression of your anger and you will eventually abandon the half Grail and leave the house altogether and start a new search for full Grail. Isn't it counterproductive to your original intention to have the full Grail? Unfortunately, once you have chosen, on your own volition, to be on accuser mode, you cannot see the reality "as it is" because the very act of accusing will block your vision to see the situation clearly. In contrast, if you see the Grail as half full, only then you will see the fact that, somebody has already filled half of the Grail for you in first place. If you can see this simple fact, your inner wisdom will tell you to look for the person who filled the glass. Unless you have this question in your mind, you cannot even think of looking for the Waterbearer. Unless you see the Grail as half full, your inner self will not guide you to ask the critical liberating question of "Where is the Grail filler?" The question will then lead you to the person who has the water, waiting for you to be asked to fill the Grail with water to the brim. And thus your original desire to have a full glass of water fullfilled. 

Do you know what is the source of your accusative mindset? You think, it's entirely your own volitional, right? Do you know why the other guys did not complain about the half-fullness of the Grail? What is the difference here? But you, on your own free choice, took the side of accusation. Eventually this choice prevented you to ask the right question and hence to see the hidden truth. Now what is the operating force here that you are in agreement? Accusation. Is it your own choice? Yes. Then you should not complain for not finding the truth, because you chose not to. Keeping these answers in mind, allow me to share some surprising information with you. The word Satan literally means "The Accuser". The word Iblis means "He/it that causes despair". Did you chose the path of Satan/Iblis on your own choice? Did the scriptures tell you that Satan is smarter than you can think ? Did not your scripture tell you that Satan will give you an impression that you are not doing anything wrong and you are just exerting your innocent free will? 

The moral of the story is: Don't be in accusative mode in ambivalent or ambiguous situations. Have doubts in everything unless your own wisdom agrees. In the same time during your doubt periods, give everything the benefit of doubt, not the malice born out of your doubts. Believe in goodness behind people's action, instead of accusing them for their deed. Hate the sin but not the sinners. Most of sinners did the sin because they had to, with some exceptions such as psychopaths. Still, in most of the cases the sinner is victim of the situations. If you have the true mindset of hating the sin but not the sinners, only then you can perceive the truth that created the situation for the sinner. This is the one of the Grand rules for your salvation! These small truths, little by little, will take you to the Ultimate Truth. This is exactly why all the great traditions require you to be a free thinking, good hearted man with straight and square in actions, before they will even consider you for initiation into the Grand mystery, because without this mindset you will not understand it, even if they tell you the mystery in simple language. And if you are truly a good hearted, upright man and you ask with utmost sincerity, you will be given the answer from within without any external help ie. the scientists, the guru, prophets or mystery schools.

An organism possessing a rational mind who can see the dualism (ie. good vs bad, male vs. female, before vs. after etc.), is in a privileged position to discover "something" profound. I am keeping this "something" deliberately cryptic and keeping it to be discovered by yourself, if you dare! But I will talk about the people/organisms/beings who are searching for it and how much they can discover. The types of organisms who can potentially have this dualistic rational mind include:

1. Human/Transhumans [H+]

2. Future Humanoids from Chimps and Monkeys, if earth survives that long enough and if humans are generous enough to allowed such instead of trying to make them slaves.

3. Atlantians or Hyperboreans

4. Olympian, Celtic, Druidic, Hindu, Chinese, Arabian, Persian, Aryan, Aztec or other mythical beings

5. Extraterrestrial/Pleiadians/Annunakis/Alien intelligence

6. Sumerian/Egyptian/Canaanite/Phoenician/Semitic mythical creatures

7. Any other conceivable physical, intelligent organisms anywhere in the universe with a rational mind.

What is this thing that these organisms can discover? This thing is the thing that you already know but do not understand, hence you are looking for it. In contrast, the things you don't know absolutely you can not even imagine it and will not know it ever, most likely because it does not exist. If you know something and understand it completely, you are not interested in and hence not looking for it. What does the organism, who are possessing a rational mind, know and hence trying to understand and searching for it? What is the Grandest thing they can discover? Please note that I did not used the word invention, because there is nothing to invent here. The thing or Truth always existed, but when you find it, you call it discovery. Invention is, in one sense, still discovery because it is mere permutation and recombination of things assembled in such a way that it looks brand new but the raw materials or energies always existed to begin with.

Based on the extent of the journey and how much they understand what they already know, these organisms can be categorized as following:  [Note, it's not a strict category. It's just a continuous gradation for the purpose of understanding. One person can be at different phases at different points of times depending on his effort and sincerity. The same organism can be at different phases at the same time too!]

1. NonCyclers: 

These are ordinary law abiding citizens. They are consumed by their mundane task of feeding and proliferating themselves. They are very docile, dependent on authority because they cannot think for themselves. Their main concern is food, sex, health, safety and pleasure. To have all of these, all they need is some money and their chief motivation of life to earn money. Typically they take pleasure from TV, sex, booze, footballs etc. Occasionally, they build up social bonding with their family and immediate neighbor, but they are afraid to make relation with outsiders. They are afraid of anything new and unorthodox. They abide by the prevalent religion or social customs and they have no questions in their life to ask, because everything can be asked is already answered for them by scientist, religious leaders, government or some sorts of authorities. They live a happy life and dies. Nobody will ever remember them again just after two generations, and even within these two generations, only family members will occasionally remember them, often with despise. They work in the assembly lines of productions which will be used by subsequent strata. Back in the old days they were called gentiles but now they are called good, law abiding citizens.

2. QuarterCyclers:

This group arises out of the awareness of the fact that there is more to life than what the NonCyclers are doing. They try to understand the world. They feel that they can do better. They start the famous "Hero's Journey" but without knowing what they exactly want. They learned some techniques that they are good at, trained themselves in colleges and universities. They achieved some confidence, self esteem and learned how to respect others and be respected by significant others. Out of their intrinsic abilities, they might pursue a very different paths. Some of them becomes painter, artist, actor/actress, musician, novelist ect. The practitioners of this arts track make themselves believe that they are satisfied in their life and tries to become content. They find their purpose of life in arts and by expressing what they do, they are trying to satisfy their inner impulses of creativity. However, at the end, they remain unsatisfied, although skillfully pretending not to, out of their self-esteem and feigned confidence and to protect themselves from cognitive dissonance. Out of this dissatisfaction, gradually they becomes more and more impulsive and started to degenerate, which is manifested as sexual experimentation, celebrity craze, drug uses, suicides, or utter renunciation of arts profession altogether. Those who perceive arts as not a good way to express their creativity, follows the science track. They are concretely rational, logical, mathematical in their thinking and works. Ebullient with enthusiasm, they try to do real science, discover useful things that the potential to serve the humanity well but near the end, they have an eerie sense of incompleteness in their task and if they are honest with themselves, many will regret that they have spent their whole life chasing a ghost! Like other humans, a scientist's soul yearns for the truth, but with contemporary science, all you can do is to check what are the things which are not true ["falsification" theory put forwards by Karl Popper]. Additionally, they will see many of their original scientific works are being commercialized and now being used by the corporations and politicians against their original intentions. The humanity will remember them for a longer time for their good task but they themselves are not happy and have a vague feelings that they have wasted their own lives, chasing a goal which they never achieved, never suspected that most of their goals were not genuinely self-created, rather, those goals were imposed or injected by the society for its mundane needs. Seeing the utter uselessness of arts and science for their own lives, the smart, charismatic, pragmatic ones decide to build a better society by controlling the lower strata and becomes a politicians or in more extreme case revolutionaries. They use scientist, artist, music, TV and media as his tools to impress the NonCyclers and simultaneously carefully suppress the sciences that can become an inconvenience for them to achieve their goals. They will eliminate anybody who is not in agreement of their "vision" and wage ideological or military war in home or abroad. Once they have achieved their "vision", slowly but surely, in their own lifetime or down the road when they are watching it from their graves, they will come to realize that, no matter how good and original their intention or vision was, the ideology or political structure degenerates and becomes a new monstrosity to oppress the meek. To their dismay, they are either assassinated by the same people for which they devoted their life to or see the horror of the monster that they have created and then repents for their mistakes but without any hope of redemption. Seeing the disharmony in the world, once in a while there comes some revolutionary anarchist who tries to undo the harm, but is doing so they are creating more harm than ever before! And finally seeing the all these mess, the remaining of the people who are helpless but wise becomes depressed and start medicating himself by drugs, smoking or some real medications. In some cases, the wise depressed starts to write and becomes world renown critics, novelist, poets etc. The humanity remembers them for even longer time for their excellent works but they themselves are depressed, unhappy, becomes more and more isolated and dies miserably.

3. HalfCyclers:

Those people who are brilliant enough to see the fallacy of the QuarterCyclers's thinking and way of pursuing life, start to examine everything very carefully. They start to dissect the assumptions that lead to the demise of QuarterCyclers. They study logic, mathematics and science carefully not to fall in the same trap that scientist, revolutionaries, politicians fell. After deep contemplation, they find the hidden assumptions behind those disciplines and the causes of the futility of such efforts. They found the real problem of all of these are linked with their own existence. For example, if there is an effect, there must be a cause behind it. Only the scientist or statistician will call it a chance. He is wise enough to see the weakness to all of these reasoning and finally reaching a point when he can see the irreconcilable dilemma. People cannot tolerate gaps in their thoughts, technically know as cognitive dissonance. They have to take a side. Most of the cases, their mind cannot operate without filling the gaps in their thoughts. To fill up the gap, they have to take some kind of  actions. Those who are more rationally minded fills the gap with a "leap of faith" and becomes the Fidels. This includes Church high fathers, Popes, Muslim caliphate or mullah, or High Priest of other religions who often act as a backbone for the society including for the politicians, or governments. Those who are more empirically minded refuse to fill the gap for lack of evidence, becomes agnostic or atheist, who often act as a backbone for scientist. Together, this group always creates the establishment and some eminent members of this class or their direct disciples become the presidents or the rulers of the lands. They strive to solve the unsolvable problems of the nations but at the end always fail to establish the promised "kingdom of haven" on earth. In either way, they are trying to handle the gaps of their knowledgebility but cannot overcome it. The disciple of the either schools [Fidels or Infidels] with sufficient moral, ethical and rational power becomes philosophers who exert a even longer lasting influence on humanity. Despite all these, deep inside they are still anxious about the gap that they have connected by faith or non faith, and hence at unease. To compensate that uneasiness, they work even harder, pray even harder, or do experiments even harder without finding any way to eliminate it completely and remains uncomfortable till the end.

4. FullCyclers: 

By some mysterious ways, some people came to realize completely what they were originally looking for. Frequently they use the term "Divine Grace" by which they have found the true mystery of existence without any gaps in their Knowledge. This group includes Prophets, Mystics, Buddhas, Grand Sufis, true Seeers, Esotericist, Occultist and the true Enlightened one. These people understand the things that they know without any shadow of doubts and hence completely content and satisfied. They are completely aligned with nature and its harmony. They typically try to communicate, although their language is mostly incomprehensible for the rest. The rest of the people know that whatever the FullCyclers are saying must be true but they do not just get it completely. They becomes confused, often infuriated. Out of envy and insecurity of QuarterCyclers or HalfCyclers, the FullCyclers often get killed, because QuarterCyclers and HalfCyclers have been searching for the same thing for their whole life without success and these FullCyclers are creating an immediate threat to their establishment. After killing them, they make themselves the true disciple of the FullCyclers and propagate a new religion or scientific discipline roughly based on their teachings that will only strengthen their own preexisting establishments. In some rare cases, some FullCyclers avoided death miraculously and lived a completely happy, illustrious life. In either ways, these FullCyclers emerge as the prototypical role models and becomes the immutable, everlasting original "archetype of the archetype" of life for the whole humanity.

5. MultiCyclers: 

There are some FullCyclers who travels the cycle of life several times and becomes the MultiCyclers. As you can expect, this group is extremely rare to find but have a profound and sustained indirect effect on humanity. These MultiCyclers are impossible to recognize unless you are a FullCycler or MultiCycler. They seems to be a regular law abiding citizens, just like NonCyclers, but  are silent and hermetic in nature. They never communicate their Knowledge. These are the hidden masters scattered among all the Cyclers (ie. Farmers, Shepherds, Workers, Poets, Travelers, Writers, Journalist, Parents, Philosophers, Humanitarians, Physicians, Scientist, Mystics, Janitor, Homeless, you name it) who are supporting and nurturing the humanity, preventing it's own collapse despite all the mess that the rest have created. They are acting literally like the "Atlas" who is holding the world on their shoulder! In exchange of theses great services, they don't even want any credit or recognition because they they know what they are doing and why they are doing. Most of the works of theses individual MultiCyclers are then taken under the brand name of "Scienctific-Industrial-Religiopoliticomilitary Complex" operated and orchestrated by the HalfCyclers for their own benefits. Those MultiCyclers know Everything and Nothing and hence they are silent. Their lips of wisdom is closed excepts for those with understanding. A MultiCycler's life might look like the following picture and as you can see, technically they can be found anywhere in the circle, intermingled with any Cycler, but in silence.

Let me finish this article by asking a rhetoric question: In what phase of the life cycle are you currently in?

If you know something and understand it, you are not interested in looking for it, because you already got it completely. What you don't know, by definition you cannot even imagine and search for it, because it resides in some dimension that is either nonexistent or you don't have any access to it, yet. But when you already know something but you don't remember how, hence you don't understand it, in those situations, you delude yourself by saying "I want to know". No, no, no. Whenever you say you want to know, actually you already know it. When you say I want to know this or that, actually you are just trying to understand it. The "what" is the thing that you already know, but you are trying to find the "why" and "how". 

From your everyday life you can tell that whatever you know about something in your day-to-day events, situations, skills, memory, knowledge about any particular event, you realize that you know that because you were involved in it. Either you practiced it to learn that technical skills, you watched the event, you talked with someone about something, you participated in some activity, you dreamed something but cannot remember it clearly, you tasted something, you smelled something, you heard something, you thought something, you tried something, you read something and most commonly you or somebody else you know did some mistakes. That's how you can recognize and reflect about those knowledge. But there are other knowledge that seems to inherent to us, for what we conveniently deluded ourselves by believing "that knowledge" is just innate and that's how we were made. No, no, no. Nothing defies causality and nothing comes out magically out of nowhere. What are the anterior phenomenons operating behind this "innateness"? Unfortunately, we have just taken this "innateness" for granted, which is actually a placeholder term, quite idiotically. Alternatively, there are some misguided people who will still preach you to believe that human mind is a "tabula rasa". Oh fool! they don't have the slightest clue. There is no point of talking about those uninitiated minds and their self deceiving beliefs. The matter of fact that there are many "innate" knowledge and we are trying to understand it. To our dismay, this passive acceptance of "unexplainable" nature of the "innate" knowledge is acting as the greatest barrier for Gnosis. To overcome this barrier, you have to find out how you know something, or feel something without apparent awareness of participation to those events responsible for those innate knowledge. For example, what is the source of seeking attention? What is the source of seeking approval? Where does the concept of love come from? What is the source of the knowledge that enable our pattern recognition? What is the source of the knowledge of time? What is the source of the knowledge of cause and effect? Where does the knowledge of language come from? Don't just answer like a parrot saying "It's innate. It's innate. That's all we know!"

Were you there and participated when those "innate" knowledge was developing? Can you remember those times? Was your brain also there at that time when those event was in there incipient stage? If your brain was not there then how come you can have those knowledge that you called innate? As I mentioned above, you cannot have a knowledge unless you were somehow involved. Don't just give me the answer such as "Oh that thing! I born with those innate abilities". Think, and think hard. I am assuming you already straightened up your thinking skill by recommended thought training. If not, please read the essay titled "How valid is your thinking". Think using everything, not just by using your brain. After all your brain was not there in those primitive time and hence conventional logic is useless to handle this magnificent task.

You can start thinking from "Young's Double Slit Experiment". Although most of the physicist, including some Nobel laureates will tell you that nobody understands Double Slit Experiment, but in order to understand the source of your knowledge in the "lingo of science" you have to understand the true meaning of that experiment. Think sequentially like a photon, a particle, atom and then molecule. Think like water, rock, plant and then animal. Then think using whole human body with all its constituent elements and cells including those of your ancestors. Please notice, thinking from these levels, you cannot use logic and premises which is a product of your brain. You have to think beyond logic. Seems impossible? Do your homework and meditation. Then you will know how to use your imaginations and traces of occult memories imprinted on those primitive forms. Lastly think conventionally starting from the enteric nervous system. Then think from spinal cords and then brain stem. Then go up and think from limbic brain including pineal gland. Then go to next higher thinking apparatus of striatum, right hemisphere, left hemisphere, hippocampus and lastly prefrontal neocortex. If you can access and extract memories from all of those levels then you will see where does the innate knowledge comes from and how this knowledge exist as of now. Don't expect to achieve this level of knowledge after spending just an hour or so. What ever you genuinely achieved in your life, it takes time. For example, if you want to have a baby and raise him as your dream son, it takes time and genuine efforts of some 10, 15 or 20 years. How can you even imagine to achieve the greatest task of the whole creation itself will come to you so easy. Remember, there is no shortcuts. Only after the greatest endeavor of your life you will understand it. Time and efforts needed varies from 5 to 50 years or more, of sincere, continuous contemplation but the good news is, it's never late! This will take you to your original goal of understanding something that you already knew. And this will sooth your mind permanently and you will not ever be lost again.

Logic, the most powerful tool you have, if used correctly, is absolutely reliable, but only if your starting assumption is also absolutely correct. Because it's very very hard to find an indisputable ground or assumption from which you can build up logical chain of thoughts, logic can and will lead you to wrong conclusions. The only weakness of logic I can see is its dependence on premise. Otherwise logic, if used methodically, is as good as it can get. 

When your premise start from intuition rather than logic per se, then your logic will dependent on your intuition. If you have a correct intuition then your logico-intuition is as good as it can be. Intuition is such a thing that you can not cultivate, but it can only be recognized. Why? Because intuition comes from the pre-conscious region of the kingdom of Freudian/Jungian unconscious. You can be only aware of intuition but you cannot see where and how it is coming from, unless you have some special access to your unconscious. All intuition is already there and there is nothing more you can cultivate or concoct. The only thing you can do or have to do is to recognize the nature of the situation. If everything that happened is buried inside the intuition, if intuition already knows the staff, and lastly if any conclusion you draw is dependent of intuition then what is the point of thinking or using logic? This is the grand bug in the system that you have to deal with. You have a infinity degree of freedom to find out the mystery of this bug. To find the answer of this problem, again you have to go back to your intuition. No matter how dramatic is the suggestion of the intuition, you have to accept it unless you can find a better one. My answer, with my best intuition recognition and logical training, is as following: 

An example of logical power: 1➡4 

1. I have the free will, therefore, free will itself signifies its exist. 

2. Something cannot come out of nothing. (If the scientists claim that we came out of nothing then I would say that "nothing" is still a "thing" that they don't understand). 

3. I am, therefore, Creator was. 

4. Creator was, and I am still here, therefore Creator is. 

This is just an example of logic but it still has some implicit intuition embedded deep inside, hence difficult to see. Things are not as simple as you might think. The real, deep mystery of the existence can be summarized as following: 

You already have the answer of your existence (from Unconscious ➡Intuition) but you are trying to find why and how did this happen [for example, by using reason and logic ➡mathematics ➡science ] with an absolute degree of freedom.

If you want to see the bottom of the water in a lake from above, the water has to be quite. If the water is turbulent, you can't. If the water has lots of objects, you can't. If the water has any color or turbidity, you can't. It has to be absolutely clear and quite in order to see the bottom best. Anything you do to this water, it will just add extra noise and turbulence. You can not make a turbulent water quite by doing something. Anything you do will go against your goal. You have to learn the technique of letting it just be and wait. Only then it can quite itself so that you can watch what it is.

With this background, now we have to find the best thing to experiment or examine in order to examine the reality. What is the best thing in the universe to examine. There are multitude of options. Atom, subatomic particles, energies, lights or other electromagnetic radiations, elements, molecules, planets, stars, galaxies, minerals, water, seas, plants, animals, man, mind and spirit. Among all of theses what has everything in it? The best candidate is us, the human. What is the most complicated physical structure know to exist in the universe? It's the human brain. What is the most powerful instrument known to exist in the universe? It's human thought and power of imagination. What is most accessible to us? It is again us, the human. Thus the best object in the known universe you can examine and assess is your own body and mind. It is you. Man is the famous allegorical "microcosm" of the "macrocosm" or the whole universe. If you know yourself and know how your body and mind operates and why does it operate the way it does, you will get closer to real mystery of existence. Hence the wise saying goes "Know Thyself". Given you have done your homework and had your thought honed and trained [see the "How valid is your thinking" essay], the universe will open up and reveal its mystery to you. This "you" is not a special you. Anybody who genuinely undertake the quest, will be that "you". In order to understand yourself better, you need to see your inside as clearly as possible. But there is always some noise inside our mind, our thoughts, likings, wantings, opinions, attachments, preference and intellect. All these creates turbulence and obstructing the view to know yourself better. You have to master the techniques to remove all those unoriginal, unnecessary foreign particles to remove turbidity and purify the water of your mind in order to see the beautiful bottom of the Ground.

I will introduce you into the vast universe inside you by giving an example of the source of a common desire. During the process of growing up, all it started from the very first kiss of your mother. You can not remember the kiss, affection and care from your mother during first 6 months of your life but your body and mind still remembers it, although it's not recollectable in your conscious memory. How can you know that your body and mind still has the memory of it? You can find the answer by asking why you want attention, care and support today from your significant others, without any apparent reason. You think you want care and love because you just want it? Think again.We learn things and then forget the learning episode, then that forgotten associative learning becomes our so called "pure" desire. We then believe our desire is genuinely pure, unconditional and not tied with anything. You just want something because you like it or you want it. Oh fool! It is not as simple as you might think. Think again. Think hard. Attention and approval is the prime addiction we have but we do not remember when we got addicted to this attention and approval seeking behavior in first place. Now you know! Although many of the things that we do or want is either because of biologic need or for utilitarian drive but do we do everything for these mundane reason or do we want those for something else? I am not going to give you the answer. You have to find it for yourself.